The Silence of the Pen

Lately, I got these issues of Philippine Journalism Review from a friend who lent it to me. The timing was just impeccable. It happened in the time when I was sold out that I'm going to be a public relations practitioner. I've always thought of myself as creative, and I didn't think that would fit in my being a journalist in profession. I always thought of journalism as straight facts, killing that instinct to present views in ways that are nearer to the heart rather than the mind alone.

The other night I read Nick Joaquin's speech during the Ramon Magsaysay awards. It's entitled Journalism versus Literature. It hit me like lightning, when I read that part when he said "So, the question of Journalism versus Literature? No longer has to be asked. The old feud is over and the two rivals are now more or less on even terms. If journalism has been upgraded to literature, literature is being reinvented as a species of reportage. In the some five decades I have been in journalism, those are the developments that I find most moving—because my own writing career has moved in the same direction: from fiction to reportage, and from reportage to non-fiction as literature."

He gave me another perspective at this point in my life when marriage is out of the question and a good career break is a long time coming. In fact until now I'm still on that phase of sking myself if I were to be what I dream of or if there's something awaiting me, something I've been running away from ever since.

Back to the PJR copies, I read the paper in the office just this afternoon, and it really struck me as to how fulfilling it would be to be writing for truth, and that nothing beats the feeling of having done something bigger than yourself, in pursuit of a task whose impact is immortal.

And right now, I'm back to my confused self, but I keep on praying that I would have the enlightenment I so long need. I know it has been my frustration, not having worked for a publication. Perhaps that the only link that's missing for me to be able to finally call this life productive and myself a true citizen.