Saturday, August 25, 2007

Unseen Aide

You did help
You did help
Me end it
The love, the lust
For naught
For the confused kind
Planted, nurtured
In the pit, the deep
Oh how come
It was real
To the touch
I thought it true
Were you
Did you
Feel, deny it
Was there
There was more
A wallowing hole
Abyssmal ecstacy
In a withering hue
Of doubt, clarity
Sanity, entropy
Of truth and imagery
Of prism and transparency
Opacity of dream
Reality is true
It was you
There was you
Tangible in spirit
Abstract in contrast
Was it revealed
Was it shown
Were you really
The hand that led me
To my clearer sanity?

Ephemeral

When the mind defies words
And the heart floats as an empty tune
Is the city’s blur enough to muddle its beat
Would that childhood seawall’s memory
Drown out inner ripples, crumpling the surface
When distance brings more than lack
And the light bears no brightness
Wallowed in the residues of a confused absence
Of hanging embers scathing the self
Is there more to time and this
The waves of silence breaking walls
Hollow darkness, a night of make-believe
That happiness is resolved in a feat
Of strength, an acceptance of frailty, a choice
An abstract abandon to life
Or offering that gnawing thing to eternity
But finding its return in a blink.

Farewell (for Xlibris)

Say good-bye, while you're able to do so
No looking back, no turning in
A plethora of memories rush
Into a sublime nature of independence
Once when the tide was high
and the murky waters flowed
When rivers ran through mountains
heeding the call of its dried beds
You were lost in the crevices
And now found your own,
hurting in the shadows.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Absence (for Barry)

In your silence
is the wonder
the ache, the cold
Coming back
with a vengeance
Like the split splatter
of rain it comes
ripping the knots
untying the whole
breaking pieces
into voids


In your silence
is the hate
the chaos, the dark
engulfing
in a rampage
Like the whip whap
of crickets
deafening
losing the sacred
breaking the night
into years

I lay myself
spread-eagled
basking
in the memory
of your lightness
waiting for the last
whip, astride
in the shadow
of your face

There is complete truth in nothing.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Crucible Delight

It was dark when I first took off my translucent veil in front of you. The sand was warm, the din of the gongs and canned music drowning the drumbeats of my heart. I felt your warm fingers swarm the contours of my face, before its heat led down to the inner recesses of my being. Your fingers were soft and full of understanding. They caressed the hard-pressed callousness of its tight skin, made thick by years of silence and absence of emotion.

Just the other night, it was again dark when you blocked my way right down the stairs. I sensed the turmoil, crawling out from all of you; I thought of you, how it is to have you lying beside me, in the dark, both listening to our silence, feeling our pain from the air, from nothing, embracing them with our warmth, as we rekindle our memories and weave them together, those times when we were far from where we are at this point . . . Instead, I pressed my body into yours. I wanted to feel all of you . . . as if they would escape the fabrics of your clothes, break free from the entangled existence we are forced to live by. Your eyes were cast down. You were staring within and beyond my chest, yearning to fondle it, feel everything in it, yet doubting of its consequence. And in that moment, I felt you; you were inside me . . . the hard, pressing need to be one with me. There was current in the air that night; your shoulders and the soft skin, the childlike shape of your face, made me want to soothe you, flow by with your calmness, drink your joy, bathe in your innocence . . .

Eversince that moment, I pine for you to live by me, consume me, empty out this vacuum of deep, dark need. Fill me with your light, your banter, your bare immensity . . . Free me from my own evil.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Home Far Away

Where the moon rise
In that boulevard
the fireflies sing
of a thousand cries
Up here in the north
where city life din
of loud music
and muffled voices
Tug at emotions
The wind murmurs
My needs as fresh
dews in the morning
Smell of coffee
percolating, simmering
The beans grinding
its sweet, savory
Clouds of smoke
drifting, molding a face
of my yearning
For the road beside
The bedroom
Window is ailing
me to bare truths
I long to bathe in.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Eros's Deception

Is it gone
Upon the light
Where my mind
gave it a slice
A truth, a figment
I create my mind's
realities, turn them true
Outside this realm
we call existence
We are a game
our feelings fleeting
How can we
justify emotions
when they come
when they're gone
the neurons, hormones
logic, chemical imbalance
Is it here
How does he feel
Is he hiding
Does he know
All along
It might be
he knows the world
Better than I do
I should have
existed, loved
Outside my mind
Translate feelings
Feel their truth
Live with its tugging
In the midst
of people's lives lost
in labyrinths of hate
pain and anguish
It will survive
comes out, in
another package
It could be gone
But it was there
and it could
still be there
lurking, seething
what lust
what love
what chaos
Is not
Could not
Be not
A battle
between the sexes.